


your pain under my skin

by agcrazy



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Telepathic Bond, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-12
Updated: 2013-05-12
Packaged: 2017-12-11 14:48:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/799928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agcrazy/pseuds/agcrazy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time it happens Zayn is only two and there is a searing pain in his side that sends him to his knees, eyes welling up with tears. His mom rushes towards him from where she is perched on the swing, watching her son play in the sand of the playground. The pain won’t stop and he is rushed to the hospital only to have the doctors find absolutely nothing wrong with him. He is given painkillers that don’t seem to work, and finally sedatives to put him to sleep, hoping, whatever it is, it will go away after he has rested.</p><p> </p><p>or the one where Zayn and Liam can feel each other's pain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	your pain under my skin

**Author's Note:**

> So this was meant to be like 5k words but it went thrice of that. like what. i know.
> 
> ugh.
> 
> anyway, I kind of like the idea of this fic? yeah, okay, i do. even if it's a bit rushed at parts and messy and everything bad. omg.
> 
> i just hope you guys like it? :)

The first time it happens Zayn is only two and there is a searing pain in his side that sends him to his knees, eyes welling up with tears. His mom rushes towards him from where she was perched on the swing, watching her son play in the sand of the playground. The pain won’t stop and he is rushed to the hospital only to have the doctors find absolutely nothing wrong with him. He is given painkillers that don’t seem to work, and finally sedatives to put him to sleep, hoping, whatever it is, it will go away after he has rested.

 

The pain, well, it stops and it doesn’t. Zayn, his parents, the _doctors_ don’t know how it works but sometimes he is perfectly fine - the cute little kid with a big smile - and sometimes he isn’t - he isn’t to the point that he is pale and losing appetite from the pain. This goes on for a year, after which the pain suddenly stops permanently.

 

Little Zayn is just happy it has ended, he doesn’t care about anything else, but his parents are worried still. It is not until six months have passed and Zayn doesn’t have any ‘attacks’ that they finally breathe a little easier, hoping they never have to watch their son suffer like that again, especially not when they are so helpless to fix it.

 

xx

 

Yaser, Zayn’s father, gets transferred to Wolverhampton from Bradford when Zayn is sixteen. Zayn isn’t nearly as bothered by the move as Yaser is. His father hates that Zayn will have to get used to a new school, a new environment during his GCSEs' year, but Zayn couldn’t care less. Over time, Zayn had gone from being that exuberant kid to a quietly brooding, reserved young man. It’s not to say he isn’t happy (he is), it’s just that he _likes_ being quiet, only ever becoming boisterous and bright-eyed with his close friends or family. And see, Zayn’s smart, like terribly smart with top grades in English and Art and well, nearly every other subject, so he really doesn’t care if he has to take his GCSEs in a new school or whatever. It’s not like he doesn’t already have the entire syllabus studied, practised and done with.

 

And so they move, because no matter how much Yaser grumbles, he doesn’t really have a choice in the transfer unless he wants to get fired and Zayn feels a little twang in his chest when he has to say goodbye to Danny and Ant. They promise to Skype and stay in touch and meet up whenever possible. Zayn hopes all of that really do happen in the future.

 

The first Saturday Zayn is in Wolverhampton, he wakes up with the terrible feeling of a hangover pounding away at his skull which is, well, kind of strange (but not really) because he didn’t drink last night. But not really strange because over the years Zayn has gotten used to these…inexplicable occurrences. While he hasn’t been in that kind of pain since he was two, but there have been other cases. From dull pain in his ribs like a bruise to the occasional hunger even after just eating; but the strangest of them all was the ache in his heart last year, which he couldn’t fathom _at all_.

 

Zayn has never even loved anyone so he doesn’t know what it is like to have loved and lost but he has watched enough rom-coms (all his sisters’ fault) to know that the ache he felt was _heartbreak_. He had already figured out by then that he has some strange sort of connection with someone out there because it only took an illogical leap of deduction (not _logical_ because there isn’t anything remotely logical about this) to get there and the goddamn heartache he had to endure for three fucking months only cemented his resolution to not fall in love.

 

All that aside, this hangover is, hence, not really the strangest experience he has had and Zayn simply releases a long suffering sigh before getting out of his bed to freshen up. Whoever he has a connection with has never given him a phantom hangover before and wonders (coupled with curse words aimed at the person) why he decided to start now. He grins though, thinking about all those times he had weed and woken up the next morning sick to his stomach and viciously hopes that the other person felt all of that too (because Zayn believes - he _has_ to, for the sake of his sanity - that this connection is a two-way thing).

 

He trudges down the stairs, hoping to get some water only to find his two youngest sisters trying to carry up a box which they promptly drop with a loud bang when they see him and proceed to squeal and try to climb him. Zayn’s head feels like it is exploding. He doesn’t know what he ever did to deserve such cruelty. And he also doesn’t know why his sisters are behaving like they’re seeing him after ten years and not like, the ten hours it really has been.

 

"Okay, okay, shhh," Zayn groans as he hoists Safaa up on his hip. "Why are you guys so excited?"

 

"Mom said we can go to that park with the pond and the ducks we passed by on our way here if you take us," Waliyah says with a grin - well aware that she doesn’t even have to plead or pull out the puppy dog eyes to get her way with him.

 

"Oh yeah, sure," Zayn sighs out, "Let me just grab some breakfast and _please_ , just quieten down."

 

Doniyah comes into the living room just then. "Oh, another supernatural occurrence, huh? What did your soul mate do now?" Doniyah asks, smirking.

 

Zayn barely refrains from pointing out that no, they aren’t _soul mates_ (because he has lost count of how many times he has said that since Doniyah got that idea three years ago and has yet to throw it out), especially considering that if he ever meets the person, the first thing he is going to do is sock him (or just do something if it’s a girl) and then proceed to sit with him/her, wallowing in the pain of a possible swelling eye (or whatever in the girl’s case) together. Zayn also doesn’t know why he keeps referring to the person as a guy in his head - probably because he has yet to have period cramps or any pain considered remotely feminine.

 

He tells Doniyah to shut up, who mimics him like that brat she is, and goes to the kitchen in search of food.

 

xx

 

His first day at the new school is on the Monday after that weekend. He doesn’t quite give a damn but it’s a little difficult to be completely apathetic because it _is_ a new school, a new environment. He hopes he won’t get bullied here too for his skin colour like he was back in Bradford until Danny and Ant had adopted him and no one else had ever bothered him again. It’s not that he can’t take care of himself now, because he can - Danny and Ant were very good teachers at the art of punching in self-defence - it’s just that he would simply prefer to not need his fighting skills.

 

Zayn’s wearing a band t-shirt underneath his leather jacket with black jeans and a cigarette tucked behind his ear and he is well aware that he looks like a bad boy - or _hooligan_ as his mom complains. And yeah, okay, it is partly because he wants people to leave him alone in the new school, but it’s mostly because this is how he actually dresses anyway. He fixes his quiff a bit as he strolls before turning the corner and walking through the school gate.

 

He sees almost everyone turn to gape at him like he’s some sort of experiment gone fascinatingly wrong. Or right, if some of the openly appreciative once-overs he is getting are anything to go by (one of them, a green-eyed boy with a mass of curly hair, even goes so far as to whistle at him). His lips quirk up, thinking _yeah_ , this might actually be not so bad.

 

Zayn enters the administration office and tells the lady that he is new.

 

“Zayn Malik, transferred from Bradford right?” the lady asks. When Zayn nods and smiles politely at her (because his mom brought him up _right_ ), she hands him a paper and says, “That’s your timetable. Hope you have a nice day, and well, a nice time here in this school.”

 

“Thanks,” Zayn replies and turns around only to bump into someone very solid, and very nice-smelling (something cinnamon maybe).

 

“Sorry, sorry,” the boy mumbles but Zayn just stares at him. The guy has got to be the most adorable person he has ever seen (and he has _Safaa_ for a sister, so that’s saying something), with his brown doe eyes and a face like a cuddly puppy’s.

 

“’S no problem, mate,” Zayn finally mutters when the boy wouldn’t stop apologising and distracting Zayn with his lovely pink lips. He sidesteps the guy and moves towards the door, hearing him apologising to the admin lady now for being late.

 

Zayn looks at him over his shoulder and his mouth goes dry, because jesus _fucking_ christ, that has to be the most marvellous set of shoulders and arms _ever_. He vaguely wonders if the boy would be up for a quick shag in one of the bathrooms before he quickly dismisses the idea and leaves the office.

 

As soon as he steps out, he gets a face full of green eyes and brown curly hair. It’s the boy from before. He is staring intently at Zayn, no signs of moving away and putting some distance between them. If Zayn wasn’t as cool-headed as he is, he would have probably shoved the guy away by now, freaked out by the mere four inches between them.

 

The boy suddenly grins, displaying an adorable pair of dimples, and straightens. He sticks his hand out to Zayn and informs, “Harry Styles. Boyfriend of the captain of the football team, who is late as usual, and of the resident social butterfly, who is probably still stuffing his face in the canteen. I want us to be friends but if you have a problem with my three-way and very gay relationship, tell me now. Then I wouldn’t even bother introducing you to Louis and Niall.”

 

Harry speaks dreadfully slow and by the time he is done, Zayn is already shaking his hand.

 

“I have one question before I agree to any friendship,” Zayn says, biting back a chuckle because he already likes this Harry character. “How much sex do you get?”

 

Harry quite literally lights up (Zayn didn’t even know that was _actually_ possible) and says, “ _A lot_. Everyday in school, at night, whenever really. One of them is always willing, if not both.”

 

He gives Zayn a cheeky smile that has Zayn belting out a laugh, uncharacteristically enough.

 

“Nice. I would love to meet…Louis and Niall, you said? But I’m telling you, mate, I’m not getting into _that_ though.”

 

“Not batting for our team then?”

 

“Nah, just don’t like sharing.”

 

Harry laughs, and they start walking down the hallway.

 

“Harry!” comes a shout from behind them, and Zayn only just turns in time to see a blonde boy leap onto Harry’s back. Zayn is quite impressed at how Harry doesn’t even falter, but simply tucks his arms (which, _woah_ , are massively hot) under the blonde’s thighs to hold him up properly.

 

Harry turns his head and they kiss once, twice before Harry says, “Hi.”

 

The blonde giggles and whispers a _hi_ back. Zayn almost wants to puke at how they are both _glowing_ , except for the fact he is afraid he might end up puking glitter and rainbows.

 

“Eaten already?” Harry asks and the guy nods before turning to Zayn with curious eyes which Zayn thinks are a real beautiful shade of blue.

 

“Oh, yeah, babe, this is Zayn. He is new, obviously, and Zayn, this is my Niall.”

 

“ _Our_ Niall you mean, Curly,” says a boy, Zayn guesses _Louis_ , who has just walked up to them. Zayn watches in fascination as Louis gives them both a kiss with practised ease and turns towards him. "Who are you?"

 

Louis, for the lack of a better description, looks like a pixie with his high cheekbones and twinkling eyes and short stature.

 

"This is Zayn, and he's new and he doesn't mind _us_ so we're all going to be great friends!" Harry exclaims.

 

Louis looks unfazed, still gazing at Zayn speculatively, and Louis has blue eyes too (Zayn thinks Harry might have a _thing_ for blue eyes). Niall looks adoringly at Harry, who looks positively delighted at the situation. Zayn imagines _he_ looks like a deer caught in headlights. This is a rather strange morning.

 

"Well, _Zayn_ , when Haz says you don't mind us, I hope you know that if you make a single advance towards either of them, I will rip you apart. Other than that, everything is good!" Louis adds the last bit cheerfully and grins at him maniacally.

 

"You're not going to find me contradicting you on that, mate," Zayn says agreeably enough.

 

"Great!" Niall bursts out, "Now that all that has been settled, can we go get snacks before classes?"

 

"I'm pretty sure you had breakfast just before I arrived," Louis says sounding exasperated but looking fond.

 

"Yeah, well," Niall shrugs.

 

"Where are you from?" Zayn directs the question to Niall, noticing his accent.

 

"Mullingar, Ireland. Moved here back when I was a wee ten year old lad."

 

"Oh, that's where the accent is from. Couldn't seem to place it," Zayn says. He feels a little weird at how easily he is interacting with these three boys.

 

They have almost reached the canteen with Niall still on Harry's back when Zayn feels a sudden dull throb at his elbow.

 

"Ow, motherfucker," he hisses, rubbing at the spot.

 

"You alright?" Louis asks.

 

"Yeah, yeah, just felt something," Zayn mumbles.

 

Louis hums before announcing, "I'm going to go find Liam. Haven't seen him since Friday."

 

"Okay," Harry and Niall chorus with creepy accuracy.

 

"Who's Liam?" Zayn asks once Louis has left.

 

He watches Niall climb down and proceed to buy up every kind of snack available in the vending machine. Zayn wonders if he should ask or leave it be. He chooses the latter, already deciding these kids are _unique_.

 

"Oh, that's Louis' best friend," Harry supplies absently, looking disturbingly enamoured at how Niall's stuffing his pickets with everything he has bought.

 

"Yeah, it - or he - is the one thing Louis refuses to 'share' with us," Niall adds.

 

"So you guys aren't friends with this Liam?" Zayn asks.

 

"Nah, we are. Just can't admit it in front of Lou. Claims that the three of us share enough as it is, he's not going to share Liam because he met him first or something equally ridiculous. Liam just tells Lou he loves him best to appease him, even though he's just as close to us," Niall explains around a mouthful of crisps.

 

Zayn feels a little nauseous at the crumbs flying out of his mouth.

 

"Niall, eat first. You're making Zayn look positively green. He's not used to your filthy habits _yet_ ," Harry says, sighing loudly.

 

"I'll show you filthy," Niall retorts in far too leery a tone, complete with wiggling eyebrows.

 

Harry rolls his eyes and says, "Anyway, we better get to class. What's your first period, Zayn?"

 

"Oh, umm, Maths," Zayn replies, checking his timetable.

 

Harry groans. "You're in Niall's class. I was hoping you'd be in my year and I won't be the youngest anymore. Ugh."

 

"It's alright, babe. You're young and cute," Niall coos, reaching for Harry with sticky fingers which the younger lad promptly swats away.

 

"I'm confused," Zayn mutters.

 

"Yeah, okay. I'm in grade 10, which you are in too, yeah? L'il Hazza here is still in grade 9, and Lou is in grade 12, taking his GCEs," Niall says.

 

"Oh. Okay..." Zayn trails off, feeling a bit surprised at the age range amongst the three of them.

 

"My fifteenth birthday is coming up. You're invited!" Harry exclaims and beams at him.

 

"Oh, sure. Thanks, I guess?" Zayn laughs a little nervously.

 

"Yeah, okay, let's go to class now," Niall says, reaching for Harry and kissing him, "Have fun in class, babe."

 

Zayn looks away, feeling awkward, when their chaste pecks turn into full-blown tonsil tennis. He coughs. They break away - Harry looking far too happy, Niall a little sheepish and blushing red.

 

xx

 

Niall doesn't even wait to sit down when they get to glass before he takes out his cell and starts texting (presumably Harry and Louis) madly.

 

Zayn leaves him alone, simply following him to sit by the window table, Niall beside him on the aisle side. He looks out the window, and wishing the teacher would arrive already to start the class. He's getting a little irked at how every new person strolling in gawks at him for a full thirty seconds before sitting down and continuing to gawk some more.

 

When the class finally begins five long minutes later, the teacher looks at him and asks him to introduce himself. Zayn absolutely hates this - has disliked this practice since he was a kid - but he breathes out a long-suffering sigh under his breath and stands up anyway.

 

"Yeah, uh, hi. I'm Zayn and just moved here from Bradford."

 

"Thank you, Zayn," the teacher, a certain Ms Calder, says sweetly before turning to write equations on the board that they are apparently supposed to finish by the end of the class.

 

Zayn soon realises that Niall's the worst seat partner _ever_. He is so restless (despite his chilled out attitude), that Zayn's nerves started fraying five minutes ago and he wonders how he is going to take another twenty minutes of Niall either twirling his pen, or shaking his leg or trying to surreptitiously eat and failing. Zayn finally gives him a quelling look which has Niall smiling apologetically at him.

 

After ten minutes of blessed peace, he feels Niall staring at him. Zayn turns and cocks an eyebrow at the blonde.

 

"You done?" Niall asks.

 

"Almost."

 

"Okay."

 

As Niall continues to stare at him, Zayn sighs and asks, "What?"

 

"Wondering how do I ask to copy without offending ya."

 

Zayn pinches the bridge of his nose and passes the answers over. He only just needed to check them, but at the rate he is working, it will be pointless.

 

Niall beams at him (and Zayn wonders if _beaming_ is taught from young in Wolverhampton) and proceeds to copy. Zayn zones out, thinking that if every Math class is like this - too easy questions and Niall being a distraction - he would need to go home and practice more on his own.

 

"So," Niall starts, even as he continues copying, "What are your next classes?"

 

Zayn is also starting to find out that Niall has no loudness control.

 

"Mr Horan, if you're down, be quiet and let the others do their work," Ms Calder barks.

 

Niall waves at her dismissively and turns back towards Zayn. "So?"

 

"Oh. Eh, I have Lit, then Physical Ed, then break. You?" Zayn replies, voice lowered to near-whisper because unlike Niall, he _can_ moderate his voice, thank you very much.

 

"Great, I'll see you in PE then. Oh, Liam will be there too, you can meet him then. We'll go to lunch together after. Lou's break is then as well. I have Music next though. You gonna be alright finding your way?"

 

"Yeah, hopefully," Zayn says, and then flashes Niall a grateful smile. "Thanks for, you know, being concerned."

 

"Don't mention it, mate. You're a cool bloke."

 

They grin at each and when the bell rings, Niall gives him a surprise hug before darting out of the classroom. Zayn shakes his head fondly, well aware that he was already becoming attached to his new friends, shocking though as it may seem.

 

Zayn is delighted with his Lit teacher when he gets to the class. Mr Nick Grimshaw may possibly have the driest humour Zayn has ever seen in an adult. Besides, he complimented Zayn on his fashion sense and even knows the band whose t-shirt Zayn is wearing. Mr Grimshaw - or _Grimmy_ as he insists everyone call him - himself is decked out in full hipster regalia and apparently is new too; which means people are more interested in staring at the strange and handsome teacher than the new kid. Which is, well, it's so great and such a reprieve from all the shares he has had to endure all morning that before leaving the class later, Zayn thanks Grimmy even though he doesn't think the teacher even knows why.

 

When he gets to the gym, Niall's already there waiting for him, happily eating a bar of chocolate. Zayn huffs a laugh despite himself and Niall looks at him like he's a psycho.

 

"How was Lit? I heard the new teacher is a fucking legend," Niall says.

 

"Yeah, he _is_ awesome. Wicked humour."

 

"Wonder what Lou'll say. Apparently this school has too few Lit students, so they are getting one teacher to teach both the GCSE level and GCE level courses."

 

"Oh, that sucks. School back in Bradford was brimming with Lit students."

 

"All you Yorkshire people. Too artsy for us. Lou's from Doncaster," Niall supplies.

 

"Oh? Didn't catch that accent either and _please_ , what 'you Yorkshire people'? You're not even from _England_ ," Zayn retorts, snorting.

 

Niall laughs, agreeing, "Yeah, actually Liam's the only one of us who's an original Wolverhampton boy. Harry shifted here from Cheshire when he was eight."

 

Zayn hums and then asks, "So where is Liam? That's who we are waiting for right?"

 

"Yeah, probably late because of the thousand and one things he has to do for student council."

 

Just then, Zayn sees someone jogging towards them, waving enthusiastically at Niall. Zayn double-takes when he sees who it is.

 

" _That's_ Liam?" Zayn hisses.

 

Niall nods, happily waving back.

 

"Why didn't you tell me? Zayn groans. "I met him this morning. He's fit as fuck."

 

Zayn blushes when Niall raises an eyebrow at him, looking like he's going to burst into laughter any second. Zayn appreciates his restraint.

 

"Hey, Niall," Liam greets, not even panting slightly in spite of running down the long hallway. "Hey, who - Oh, you're the guy I bumped into this morning! Sorry about that, mate."

 

"No problem," Zayn squeaks, and glares at Niall shaking with repressed laughter beside him.

 

"I'm Liam. You're the new kid, Zayn, right?"

 

"Ye-yeah," Zayn breathes out shakily, wondering why he is having such a strong reaction to someone he just met.

 

Liam turns to Niall and asks, "So has he met..."

 

"Yeah, Harry's the one that found him."

 

Zayn scowls at being talked about when he is right there.

 

"Oh," Liam says, seemingly ignoring Zayn, "Is this because he is still upset that I said Louis' my favourite?"

 

"Hey," Zayn cuts in, "What's that supposed to mean?"

 

"Sorry, mate. Hazza has taken it into his head that he needs a best friend who will claim _Harry_ is his favourite like Louis forces Liam to do," Niall explains, looking amused at the antics of his boyfriends.

 

"Oh. Should I feel complimented or - "

 

"No! I mean yes?" Liam replies, looking adorably confused. "I mean no, I didn't mean to insult you because it sounds like I did. And I'm sure you're an amazing person which is why Harry befriended you."

 

"I don't think so, bud," Niall interjects, "Harry knew Zayn for all of two minutes before browbeating him into a friendship."

 

Zayn ogled at Niall, wondering how he knows all that. Niall catches his incredulous expression and simply gestures to his phone. _Oh_. Well, that explains why Niall has been glued to his cell. Zayn is about to say something, but gets distracted by the hand Liam is patting him with.

 

There is a phantom burn wherever the hand touches, even through the layer of clothes on Zayn.

 

"It's okay, mate," Liam says sympathetically, which is like - _what_?

 

Zayn doesn't know what's happening, to be honest. He must look terribly confused because Liam is clucking at him.

 

"It's alright. I know they are a bit overwhelming but we'll keep each other sane, Zayn," Liam says, looking inexplicably _understanding_ , as though Zayn _is_ feeling overwhelmed when he really is not.

 

Except for the part where Liam hasn't taken his hand away.

 

Niall finally takes pity on him and says, before Zayn is forced to stutter some kind of reply out, "Okay, okay, enough. Let's go inside, I'm pretty sure we're fifteen minutes late."

 

Once they enter, the teacher reprimands them for a while before ordering them to go change. Niall sticks his tongue out at the teacher once his back is turned to them and Zayn wonders if Liam actually has the right of it after all, because seriously, when did his life become _this_?

 

Zayn tries not to stare at Liam's exposed torso when they change in the locker rooms. He thinks he deserves a medal for the Herculean effort it took to not just stop and stare when he first caught a glimpse of the abs lining Liam's abdomen. When he quickly looks away after another quick glance at Liam, who _still_ hasn't put a damn shirt on, Zayn finds Niall smirking at him knowingly. Zayn blushes and quickly changes, before fleeing the room.

 

They are playing dodgeball and Zayn groans when he sees everyone running around. He wonders if bunking PE on his first day at the new school may be too rebellious, even for him. But before he can decide, Niall and Liam come up behind him with Liam enthusing, "Oh, it's dodgeball! Come on boys! This is so awesome."

 

As Zayn watches Liam run off towards one of the teams, Zayn asks, "Is he always like that?"

 

"Always, mate. Always." Niall sighs and shakes his head before grabbing Zayn and dragging him into the melee of students.

 

Halfway through Niall corners them and says, grinning wildly, "Lou just asked me to meet him in one of the toilets. I'm gonna go inform the teacher I'm sick."

 

He winks at them, causing Liam to look scandalized once he's caught on to what Niall's referring to and Zayn makes a face at Niall. After Niall disappears, Zayn turns to Liam and says offhandedly, "You look awfully red."

 

Liam blushes even more, if that is even possibly and mumbles something about _having embarrassing friends_ and _student council president_. Zayn leaves him to it because Liam looks too cute for words and if Zayn sticks around any longer he might actually kiss the frown off of Liam's face or something equally _stupid_.

 

When the bell finally rings, Zayn collapses on one of the benches nearby. He is panting and he is pretty sure he looks abnormally flushed and gross with sweat dripping down his face and he really just _hates_ dodgeball. It's a deceptively difficult _sport_ and Zayn dislikes even so much as walking briskly for any purpose. He has stitches at his sides and he is rubbing the areas over when Liam drops down beside him.

 

Zayn is surprised to see him heaving and clutching at his sides too. He didn't think Liam would be one to get affected by this when he has shoulders like _that_ and abs like a washing board.

 

"Don't know why I am suddenly having pains. So stupid. I can go an entire football match without breaking a sweat and this has me in _stitches_ of all things," Liam complains.

 

"Hey," Zayn whines jokingly, "Stitches are normal for mere mortals like me."

 

Liam laughs even through the wheezing and Zayn feels a little incredulous because his joke seriously didn't warrant such mirthful laughter. Liam's gone all crinkly-eyed and he sounds so fucking _joyful_ , Zayn wants to bash his head against the nearest concrete structure he finds. It's only the fact that he has met this person _just_ today that has him refraining from doing so.

 

Because Liam shouldn't be affecting him like this and so Zayn is going to ignore any and all emotions pertaining to this handsome, fit and adorable boy beside him.

 

Yup, that's it.

 

As he gets his heartbeat back to its original pace, he sees Liam recovering as well. The brown-eyed boy stands up and looks at him expectantly.

 

"Huh?" Zayn mumbles.

 

"Come on, let's go for break. If not Louis would wreck havoc in the canteen, all the while Niall eating the school into bankruptcy," Liam says, bouncing on the balls of his heels excitedly.

 

Zayn imagines he was a puppy in his past life.

 

Nonetheless, he gets up - groaning when his muscles protest - and follows Liam back into the locker room to get changed. There are more people in there now, and Zayn uses that as an excuse to change inside one of the stalls instead of out in the open like most of his classmates. He doesn't need to look at Liam's Adonis-like body any more than he already has.

 

Liam is waiting for him outside the gym when he comes out. For a second he thought that they have all left him alone already and was planning on spending the break smoking in some corner. But when Zayn sees Liam give him a content little smile, his plans for exploring the school flies out the window and he is already smiling back at the guy.

 

Zayn thinks this school is not going to be very good for _street cred_ or whatever the fuck Danny always kept yapping about.

 

xx

 

"So, how come you moved here?" Liam asks as they queue up for food.

 

"Dad's work I guess," Zayn replies, eyeing with distaste all the vegetables and fruits Liam's piling on his tray. "You're a health freak, aren't you?"

 

Liam laughs, nodding at him and adds a _kiwi_ onto his tray. "Yeah, I guess. Louis and Niall hate it because they don't like these enough to steal but _that's_ actually an added benefit."

 

Zayn can't figure out who he should sympathise with, and instead asks, "Where are they anyway? Niall said that Louis is supposed to be here as well?"

 

"They are probably still in the toilets," Liam mumbles, going all red and the _where does the blush go down till_ is a stray thought in Zayn's mind, which he promptly chucks away because he seriously does _not_ need to get all hot and bothered again.

 

Zayn smirks, though, at the thought of Niall getting it on somewhere and Harry probably pouting in his class.

 

"What are you smiling about?" Liam asks, brown eyes curious.

 

"Oh, just thinking about Harry feeling put off by the sex Niall and Louis are getting and he is not."

 

Liam's lips quirk up. "Yeah, you figured him out fast enough. It used to be so bad, though. Before. When they hadn't figured out how their relationship would work. But Harry's not so bad really," Liam says, pausing as Zayn pays for his food, "Sure, he'll be all sad and mopey but he's easy enough to appease. Louis is the wors - "

 

"Leeeeyum! Are you _bad mouthing_ me?" Louis screeches, appearing out of nowhere and twisting Liam into a headlock. Which - is frankly weird, considering Louis looks like he's hanging off of Liam's shoulders more than anything else. "How very dare you? Corrupting the newbie against me when I'm your best friend in the whole wide world. This is _unacceptable_ , Payno!"

 

"Get off!" Liam groans. "You reek of sex!"

 

Liam wrinkles his nose and shoves Louis off with one hand, balancing his tray precariously on the other. Louis grins widely at them.

 

"And how would you even know what sex smells like. Huh huh?" Louis asks mischievously, wiggling his eyebrows in a decidedly evil manner. "Considering that you can't even say the word without stuttering much less actually doing it yet!"

 

Liam squawks and throws a quick mortified glance at Zayn which Zayn, of course, doesn't miss despite Liam looking away very fast. "Shut up, Lou. The whole world doesn't need to know about it."

 

"Awww, is ickle Wiam shy?" Louis coos and pinches Liam's increasingly redder cheeks. He frankly looks like he's going to spontaneously combust any second and Zayn decides to take pity on him.

 

"Hey, where's Niall? Thought he was with you?" Zayn asks Louis.

 

"Oh. Hmm, he was right behind me - oh! There he is!" Louis exclaims, pointing to somewhere behind Zayn. When Zayn turns, he feels his jaw drop.

 

Niall looks more flushed than usual and has the worst case of sex hair Zayn has ever seen and right, are those fresh _hickies_ on his neck?

 

Liam inhales sharply and whispers, "What did you _do_ , Louis? He looks like he got ravaged by some animal."

 

"Well, no need to ask, Liam. I think we all know what Louis did," Zayn says dryly, watching Louis' smug smile.

 

"Yeah, Liam. That was the _point_ ," Louis says in a fake posh accent, pretending to look down at Liam condescendingly - except failing because of how much taller Liam is.

 

"Fine. See if I help you deal with sad Haz afterwards," Liam says, sticking out his tongue. Zayn wonders how he came to befriend a bunch of _children_.

 

Niall strolls up just then and slings an arm over Zayn's shoulder. "Alrigh', mate?"

 

And yeah, okay. Niall smells of sex too. Zayn wrinkles his nose like Liam had and says, "Yeah, thanks but you smell of sex. You can like, let go of me anytime now."

 

Niall laughs loudly, the sound billowing out and causing some people to turn their heads towards them. "Yeah, well. It helps to relieve stress and there's lots of stress in school."

 

"Yeah, sure," Zayn snorts, "You copied _my_ maths. I'm sure that was terribly stressing."

 

"I like him," Louis suddenly announces and detaches himself from Liam's side to worm his arms around Zayn. Zayn sees Liam laughing at him, probably at the horrified expression he's sure he has on his face right now. He has never met anyone like Louis before - it's a little terrifying.

 

"Oh, no," Niall interjects, quickly disentangling Louis from Zayn. "Haz called dibs."

 

Zayn frowns at Niall, wondering when exactly he became a commodity. But before he can ask anything, Louis launches into an indignant speech about why Harry, of all people, shouldn't be calling dibs because he is always going on about not objectifying people or something equally pretentious. Zayn tunes him out and turns to see Liam watching him. Liam gestures to one of the tables nearby with a jerk of his head and Zayn quietly follows Liam, leaving the Louis and Niall to squabble in peace.

 

Liam smiles at him as they sit across each other, offering an apple. Zayn suppresses a snort and shakes his head.

 

"They are a bit much, yeah?" Liam says softly. "But it's nice with them around."

 

Zayn hums, smiling around the forkful of mashed potato in his mouth. "Yeah...don't think there's ever a boring day with the three of them around," he replies.

 

"Yes! Oh my god, I think I've actually forgotten what boring even _means_ ever since Louis befriended me." Liam's eyes are crinkling at the corners again, as though he's reminiscing a favourite memory. Zayn stares unabashedly at Liam as the boy sort of zones out.

 

"What are you thinking about?" Zayn asks without thinking when he sees Liam's lips subconsciously curling up in a smile. But then he realises what he just asked and he quickly goes to apologize because sure, he kind of _really_ wants to know what has put that soft smile on Liam's face but it is also really not like him to ask such an obviously personal question to someone he just met.

 

But Liam startles at his question and then turns that soft smile towards him. Zayn internally sighs and forgets about apologizing.

 

"Just thinking about the day I met Louis. Well, no. I've always known Louis, he's hard to ignore but like the day I actually talked to him. I, uh. I used to get bullied and beaten up a lot? So, this was back before I became the council head, and I was getting bea - beaten up by this guy and Louis told the guy to get lost. Except, in a much cruder way."

 

Liam laughs then. Zayn can't imagine how he can actually laugh because Zayn feels angry - so massively angry that if he was in Louis' place he would have probably punched the guy - and Liam is sitting there _laughing_. Liam is probably the kind of guy who doesn't even hate his bullies, which is -

 

It's far too endearing and makes Zayn want to protect him even more.

 

"Oh, you look like how Lou always does whenever someone tries to bully me," Liam says in an almost-whisper, voice filling with wonder and when their eyes lock onto the other's, they both blush and look away.

 

"I," Zayn tries to say, but coughs instead, "I used to get bullied. Mine was more verbal than physical, even though that was there too. You know, because I - basically about me being a mongrel and what not."

 

"That's not very nice," Liam says disapprovingly, as though he'd like to have a stern _talking-to_ with Zayn's bullies.

 

Zayn laughs despite himself. "Yeah, it's not," and Zayn sounds sad even to his own ears.

 

Liam's hand twitches like he wants to reach out to maybe hold Zayn but nothing of that sort happens and Zayn lets himself imagine for a second what it would be like if he actually did. But he shakes himself out of the daze as soon as he falls into it and refocuses his attention on Liam.

 

"Yeah, so! Umm, basically then after Louis so heroically saved as he claims, he just wouldn't leave me alone. I don't know why to be honest. He refuses to tell me even now when two years have passed except that it's because he, and I quote, 'always wanted a puppy' and I apparently fit that hole in his life," Liam says, smiling like he thinks his best friend needs to be sent to the loony bin. "He's so ridiculous."

 

The overly-fond expression on Liam's face makes Zayn freeze because, _fuck_ , he has seen that before. In fact, he had been especially glad that they were moving to Wolverhampton precisely because he didn't want to see _that_ look on Doniyah's face anymore because Bradford is where her best friend lives - the guy she is head over heels in love with, the guy who also doesn't look at her as anyone more than a best friend and goes on to date anything with a pulse and a pair of boobs.

 

Zayn barely manages to suppress a groan because he's pretty sure Liam's in love with Louis (or some form of it) and that _both_ are pretty oblivious to it. He honestly doesn't think Liam is the kind to be aware of such emotions even if they are his own, which is, well, kind of insulting but. Whatever.

 

Zayn eyes Liam sharply, wondering if he should comment now or just let it be or. _Do something_. Because as much as he would like to claim it's only because he's quite certain he's going to be part of this group and doesn't want to have to tiptoe his way around, it's really because he feels strangely _achy_ in his chest at the thought of Liam might possibly being in love with someone -

 

Else.

 

Zayn stands up without saying anything because he suddenly needs to just _get away_ and his skin is crawling. He ignores the confused look Liam's giving him and also ignores the flash of hurt on Liam's face when he turns away and leaves. He thinks he hears Louis shout his name behind him when he leaves the canteen but he ignores that as well. Zayn can't figure out why he is reacting as such, why he is being such a twat and how, if she knew, his mom would be appalled by his behaviour.

 

He finds himself running towards the direction he thinks the field is at and releases a pent-up sigh when he is finally in the open air. Zayn's hands shake a little as he fumbles in his pocket for a fag.

 

"You don't want to get caught," comes a voice from behind him just as he manages to pull the first drag.

 

"Fuck - " The stick nearly flies out of Zayn's hand in his shock and he turns around to find Mr Grimshaw - _Grimmy_ \- tucked into a corner of the building.

 

Smoking.

 

Zayn cocks an eyebrow and Grimmy flashes him a wry smile. Zayn walks over and they quietly smoke for a while - Zayn calming down slowly.

 

"Wanna talk about it?" Grimmy asks, not looking at him but up at the rare clear sky.

 

"No."

 

"Hmm, didn't think so. Just thought as a _teacher_ I should." Grimmy snorts and Zayn's pretty sure he is snorting at himself.

 

"Why'd you shift here?" Zayn asks for the lack of anything better. The silence has become stifling already.

 

"Change of scenery. Running away from my past. The usual bullshit whenever someone shifts to the countryside from London," Grimmy says, seemingly unaffected.

 

"Why a teacher?"

 

"Beats me, man. Beats me."

 

Grimmy laughs in a self-deprecating way then and Zayn suddenly realises that he's not the only one with problems. And frankly, his _problem_ really isn't one if he doesn't let it be.

 

"Think someone I just met might be in love with his best friend," Zayn says.

 

"Yeah?" Grimmy looks at him then. "Why do you care?"

 

Zayn returns the gaze, each holding it steady. Zayn doesn't even know it himself what he's searching for in Grimmy's eyes but he thinks he finds it and admits to his teacher something he hasn't yet admitted to himself, "I thought I might be crushing on him."

 

"Ahh, to be young and free," Grimmy declares airily and chuckles when Zayn scowls at him. "You said 'thought'..."

 

"Yeah, well. I only just met him today so it can't be true. Won't let it happen," Zayn replies and turns away, doesn't want to add that getting his heartbroken (and he _will_ if he lets himself even so much as _like_ Liam) is completely not an option.

 

"Mate," Grimmy starts saying, but pauses with a weird expression on his face, "Calling my student 'mate' is kind of really strange. But as I was saying, if you ran out here as though devils are on your tail just because you _think_ this guy is in love with his best mate, I really don't think you're in a position to 'allow' or disallow yourself anything."

 

Zayn grunts, refusing to acknowledge what Grimmy just said. Grimmy looks at him far too knowingly for someone he just met today as well.

 

"Well, I'm going to class. Come talk to me if you want to, kid...yeah no, that sounds weird too. But yeah, come talk to me, Zayn. Us newbies need to stick together."

 

Zayn snorts because yeah, _no_ , he probably won't and that was _such_ a cheesy line. Grimmy walks off, muttering something about _damn angsty teenagers_. Zayn throws his cigarette away and pushes off the wall to enter the school building.

 

xx

 

He finds Harry waiting for him outside his Biology class and rolls his eyes when he sees the younger lad. He can already tell why he's there.

 

"Hey!" Harry says happily when he spots Zayn and surprise-hugs him. It's a mystery to Zayn why these boys have no sense of personal space.

 

"Hey, Harry," he intones, planning how to brush Harry off and get to class, even though the teacher hasn't arrive yet.

 

"How was your day?"

 

"Good...?" Zayn says. He sighs when the boy continues to look at him expectantly. "It was good, like my Lit teacher, met Liam - "

 

"He's awesome right?" Harry interrupts, giving him a dimply smile.

 

"Yeah, sure," Zayn says neutrally, as if brushing off the topic, "Got assaulted by Louis and Niall's sex smell. Went for a fag, anything else you want to know?"

 

He sees the moment Harry registers what he just said about his boyfriends because a definite scowl is forming between his brows, and right there is his chance to divert Harry's attention from him and presumably what happened in the cafeteria.

 

"Why are you scowling? Aren't you like used to them getting it on without you sometimes?" Zayn asks, genuinely curious but feels a little bad when he sees Harry look pathetically at him. He thinks Harry can put Waliyah to shame at guilt-tripping people.

 

"Yeah," Harry drags the word out, "I'm not jealous or anything. At least not about them doing it with each other. Just don't like it that they got off more than me."

 

Zayn bursts out laughing because he honestly didn't expect _that_ to be the reason. Harry automatically smiles at him, as if it's a knee-jerk response to anyone laughing.

 

"Yeah, I got over the whole jealousy thing a long time ago. It's probably only Lou who still gets jealous if Niall and I do it without him," Harry muses, and then he grins widely. "But we just smother him with love afterwards so that he won't complain too much."

 

"Nice system you got going on. Anyway, as much as this has been lovely, and thank you for coming to check on me, I better get to class," Zayn says, edging towards the classroom door.

 

"The teacher's not even here," Harry replies without missing a beat. "I wanna ask something. Why'd you run away jus - "

 

He gets cut off by a familiar voice, and Zayn is seriously wondering if Louis' a real pixie what with his ability to just appear out of nowhere.

 

"What is this twat doing here?"

 

Zayn rubs his eyes tiredly and turns to see Louis walking towards them, glaring daggers at Zayn. He is walking a little bit in front of Liam as if to protect him which is so ridiculous, Zayn wants to _cry_ because Louis' compact body barely even covers half of Liam's. Niall is walking beside Liam and when he sees Zayn (or maybe Harry - probably Harry), he lights up and starts waving.

 

"Be nice, Lou," Liam admonishes quietly but Zayn still hears him and feels a little bad for having just left so abruptly.

 

"Did you get my message?" Niall asks Harry and goes to hug him but Harry holds him off. He is eyeing the blemishes on Niall's neck and the frown returns.

 

"Yes," Harry bites off, "That's why I'm here."

 

Zayn thinks Harry might be playing up the wounded, heartbroken look a bit too much but then again, maybe Harry had lied to him and is really actually jealous.

 

Louis immediately wraps himself around Harry and scratches the top of his head, as though he's a cat. Judging by the way Harry sways on the spot and maybe purrs, it's a very like possibility. Zayn chokes on a laugh and immediately shuts up when Louis turns to him with the Glaring Eyes (yes, they warrant their own capitalisation) again. Liam sighs and looks at him with sad eyes that might actually rival both Harry _and_ Waliyah's.

 

"Liam," Zayn hisses, trying not to let Louis hear him because he has returned his attention to appeasing Harry and Zayn wants it to remain that way. So much for Louis' _I like him_ earlier.

 

Liam shakes his head and nods towards the door. As the pair silently slink into the classroom, Zayn thinks this might become a ritual for them whenever the other three are around. He also tries not to think too much into how Liam doesn't even hesitate before sitting down beside him in class.

 

"So, umm," Zayn begins.

 

"Did I say something wrong just now?" Liam asks rather directly. "Because before Louis, and Haz and Ni, people always claimed I said the wrong things and didn't quite wanna be friends. I didn't think that would be the case with you as well."

 

Zayn contemplates shooting himself.

 

"No, Liam. Ugh, it's my fault. I just felt - " Zayn breaks off, unsure how to say anything without sounding like a presumptuous dick or a jealous girlfriend. "I just. Look, okay, I know you like Louis and I don't want to accidentally say or do anything that might jeopardize all of your friendships because I'm new and strangely really glad I've already found such good friends on my first day."

 

Liam's eyebrows furrow as though he doesn't quite understand Zayn. At all.

 

"Of course I like Louis. Why would that be a problem? Do you not like Louis because then this _is_ goi - "

 

"No! As in, I like Louis well enough. I meant you like- _like_ Louis," Zayn whispers, afraid of a pop-up Louis. And also because why does _he_ have to spell this out when he's the one who should be getting comforted?

 

"Wha - ? No," Liam says, voice firm, and then he throws back his head to laugh quite uproariously. He is saying between gasps, "You thought I like Louis. Oh god. That's gold."

 

Zayn feels rather put off, considering that Liam is pretty much laughing at him.

 

"Yeah, yeah you proved your point, you can stop laughing now," Zayn mutters, looking mutinous.

 

"Sorry, it's just. Funny. Lou is really the best and all that but I don't think I've _ever_ thought about him as such," Liam says, still shaking his head.

 

A sudden thought occurs to Zayn.

 

"Oh fuck, you're straight, aren't you? No wonder you don't like Louis," Zayn claims because. Well, Zayn might not have known Louis for long but he has got eyes and he's pretty sure everyone would be a little in love with the guy after prolonged exposure to him.

 

But Liam's giving him a funny look again, like he _still_ can't figure Zayn out and it's irking him; and Zayn doesn't really care because sure, Liam might not like Louis but that doesn't mean he still has any better a chance because Liam's _straight_ of all things.

 

"No..." Liam drags the word out. "I'm bi actually."

 

And _oh_.

 

Zayn wonders how many more times and in how many more ways he can screw this up before the day is over.

 

"Oh, uhh," Zayn replies, feeling embarrassed and looking everywhere other than at the boy beside him who might be laughing at him again.

 

"How about we start over, yeah?" Liam asks and when Zayn looks up at him, all he finds is sincerity and kindness in those brown eyes looking back at him.

 

"Yeah," Zayn replies on a soft exhale.

 

"Hi, I'm Liam," the boy states, sticking his hand out to Zayn.

 

Zayn smiles shyly back, and clasping the offered hand, he says, "I'm Zayn. It's very nice to meet you, Liam."

 

They remain like that for a while - palms glued in a handshake, eyes speaking volumes and identical telling smiles burgeoning on their faces that they do nothing to stop. And it's -

 

It's pretty fucking perfect, Zayn thinks.

 

xx

 

"Zayn! Your friends are here!" Tricia, his mom, shouts from downstairs.

 

Zayn rushes down the stairs, and comes face-to-face with the sight of Louis, Harry and Niall sprawled across the couch with Safaa having her hands buried in Harry's curls (which, Zayn is fairly positive, might actually house little furry animals for all they know), and Waliyah gaping at the three boys in awe from a corner.

 

It's been near about a month since that eventful first day and Zayn wonders when this gathering of theirs became an actual twice-weekly _thing_. (Probably ever since the first time they showed up at his door unannounced that very week, bearing _Welcome to Wolverhampton_ food and charmed his own mother into unofficially adopting them. Zayn doesn't know how they knew his address because he sure as hell hadn't even memorised it himself then and he thinks maybe Liam, with his access to the students' records, isn't really as innocent as he looks).

 

And as much as the warm lava of happy feelings this tableau sends melting across his skin no matter how many times he sees it, seeing his sisters, however, have the same reaction _every single time_ tends to get a little old and a little grating. He would for once like to peacefully hang out with his friends without having to literally drag his younger sisters away. Why they can't meet up at anyone else's place is still a mystery (not really - it's probably because they all like his mom's spicy food the best and also because Harry has taken up learning to cook from her once in a while).

 

He sighs and tells his sisters to go away. He repeats himself, but much louder, when they don't even so much as glance his way. They finally look up and give him the stink eye before stomping away. It's all a bit trying.

 

"Something came up at home for Liam. He'll be a bit late," Louis informs him and _oh_ , so that's what that off-kilter feeling was for.

 

It also explains why Doniyah isn't anywhere in sight because she claims she can't handle his friends without the calming presence of Liam. Zayn tends to agree.

 

Just then, a throbbing pain blooms on his right knee, as though the skin is being torn there and he curses.

 

"What's wrong?" Harry asks, frowning and coming over to Zayn, who is now hunched forward in pain.

 

"Nothing, nothing," Zayn gasps and tries to wave Harry off, which, of course, doesn't work because they have all become nothing short of best friends who have no personal boundaries.

 

And that's sort of a problem because Zayn still hasn't told them about his - _connection_ ; he doesn't know how to bring it up in a conversation without sounding like a complete nutjob and now that he has purposely avoided the topic for all this time, he is fairly certain Louis will go back to thinking he's a douchebag if he ever does confess it. In fact, Zayn is pretty sure Louis _is_ suspicious that he is hiding something from them because Zayn has winced for no apparent reason enough times to warrant Louis' scrutiny. The only reason why Louis hasn't called him out on it is probably because he still can't even begin to figure it out yet and Zayn is more than happy about that.

 

Even if it feels like a betrayal of sorts that he is hiding such a big part of him, no matter how ridiculous a part that is.

 

He rubs the spot a little bit and smiles fondly when Harry crouches down and rubs the area for him. He cards his fingers through Harry's hair and scratches in that way he now knows will have Harry going all pliant. He laughs a little when Harry doesn't disappoint and hears the other two chuckle as well. Just then the bell rings and he gives Harry's head one last pat before getting up to open the door.

 

His heart thuds a little too heavily for the goodness of his health when he finds Liam on the other side and he breaks out into a rare, uncontained smile.

 

That's another thing that's been happening for the past month.

 

Somehow after that _re_ -introduction, they had sort of fallen - _into each other_ is the only description that fits. It isn't as explosive and bright as Harry, Niall and Louis' relationship is but then again, of course it wouldn't be considering Zayn and Liam aren't in one. But, there's still something unique about them - like the taste of an herb that can't quite be identified amidst the burst of flavours in a dish. And they are like that - the five of then meshing together despite all of their differences and quirks to be something magnificent and just _right_ \- and Zayn and Liam have found their own dynamics within all of that. Something that's only _their_ own which even Louis can't lay claim to.

 

The thing about them is that they are both quiet. Lonely sometimes even when the entire world surrounds them and they realised that being lonely together, however cheesy that may seem, is so much better than being lonely separately. It's so much easier to sink into their own quietness when they are together, when they don't have to explain to the other why it's necessary - _vital_ even - that they step back from all the school work and extra-curricular activities and student council and just. Just _breathe_.

 

Liam understands why Zayn sometimes needs the younger boy to sit there with him on the stadium steps and not do anything except listen to him talk about how life is an unending poem and Zayn understands why Liam sometimes needs him to listen _fun._ 's songs with him in the solitude of his room after a long day of classes and meetings and everything else trying.

 

And so the pair does that, blushes when their friends tease them for something they themselves haven't defined yet and spends the rest of the time being two normal teenage lads with three crazy best friends who rope then into doing ridiculous things with them.

 

Hence now, even though Zayn is pretty sure he is smiling rather stupidly, he figures it's alright because Liam has probably seen him in all of his stupidity already and he's _still_ here. So.

 

It takes Zayn a moment, though, to realise Liam isn't smiling back at him in that kiddish way he usually does and it makes him frown, seeing the grimace etched onto Liam's face.

 

"Hey, you alright?" Zayn asks, moving forward to curl a hand around Liam's broad shoulder.

 

Liam gives him a tight smile and replies, "Yeah. Sort of. Just..." He gestures downwards.

 

"Shit," Zayn hisses when he sees one of Liam's knees scraped and bloodied. It looks an angry red and very raw. He quickly moves aside so that Liam can hobble in, wincing alongside Liam with every painful step he takes.

 

"What happened?" Louis shrieks once he sees Liam, and rushes to help Liam onto the sofa.

 

Zayn in his anxiety doesn't recognise the familiarity of the wound or the pinpricks of pain he feels in his own knee. Zayn rummages through the medicine cabinet in the kitchen, until he finds some alcohol and bandages. He walks back to the living room just in time to hear Liam relate the story.

 

"I was just on my way here and out of nowhere, this kid came barrelling towards me in a bike. Before I could move away or he could break, he collided with me and I went sprawling. My knees got the worst of it," Liam says ruefully. "Shouldn't have worn these bermuda shorts."

 

Zayn sits down beside Liam and silently gets to cleaning his knee as the others watch on in fascination (- as if they have never sewn anyone with scraped knees before). While he rolls open the bandage, Louis darts a finger in to poke the area.

 

"Fuck," Zayn curses alongside Liam's grunt. "Jesus, Lou, don't do that. It hurts," Zayn says without thinking. When Louis shoots him a funny, confused look, Zayn's eyes widen because yeah, _fuck_.

 

He said that not because he thought Liam probably hurt when Louis poked him but because _he_ felt it. Which is.

 

It can't be true.

 

It barely takes thirty seconds for Zayn to connect the dots and suddenly, a lot of things start making sense. And honestly, he would like to stay here and poke at Liam's knee himself to verify or maybe even discuss the situation but he feels an actual panic attack coming on and he really just needs to get out of there.

 

"I, uh," Zayn stammers, "I need to use the washroom! Here, Louis help Liam." Zayn pretty much shoves everything in his hand into Louis' face and escapes the room.

 

He can hear Louis saying a bemused _what the fuck_ as he bounds up the stairs and subsequently shuts himself in his bathroom. Zayn stares at his own reflection unseeingly, only replaying in his mind all the instances when it should have dawned on him that Liam might possibly be _that person_.

 

From that time on Harry's birthday party when Liam had informed him he doesn't drink because he doesn't have a functioning kidney to the time Zayn got a papercut and Liam had subconsciously sucked on his own thumb (which - _why_ did Zayn even chalk that one up to being a knee-jerk reaction for anyone to have when seeing someone else's blood?). Even that instance on the first day at PE when Liam, of all people, had stitches should have made Zayn think twice and even if that hadn't, then two weeks ago, when Zayn had diarrhoea and Liam had been clutching his stomach all day should have.

 

Zayn shakes his head. Once. And then another time. And then he continues shaking until he feels dizzy enough to momentarily _stop_ these thoughts from bouncing around in his skull.

 

Zayn wants to believe it, and yet, he doesn't. Believing it would mean finally having a face to this till-now life-long experience of his, and to hope against hope that Liam is okay about it. And not believing would mean not telling Liam and never actually knowing for _sure_ if Liam's really the one and also keeping Liam's friendship as status quo. Zayn is sort of tending towards the latter because the former would expose him to the possibility of Liam hating him for all the trouble he has put him through the years (he seriously regrets having given Liam hangovers now), of having their easy friendship morph into something unknown (something Zayn would probably never want it to be) and Zayn just. He can't.

 

It's only been a month but if Liam were to start ignoring him, Zayn thinks -

 

Actually he can't think what he would do. Even the mere _thought_ of Liam ignoring him is rather painful.

 

There's a soft knock on the door. Zayn startles and whips his entire body around to face the door as if it might betray him and open of its own accord.

 

"Zayn?"

 

It's Harry. Zayn breathes little easier and inches the door open.

 

Harry gives him a nervous smile, green eyes looking concerned.

 

"You alright?"

 

"Yeah. _Yeah_ , I'm fine, Haz," Zayn replies too quickly.

 

"You know you're not as great at lying as you seem to think you are. Of course not bad as I am, but still, it's pretty obvious to those close to you when you're hiding something."

 

Zayn scoffs because firstly, _please_ , he's great at lying and secondly, if it's so obvious then why hadn't they figured out his secret yet?

 

"Of course, knowing you're hiding something doesn't mean we know what it is that you're hiding," Harry replies, tone very carefully neutral. Zayn sometimes forgets that Harry has become creepily attuned to his thoughts.

 

"Haz," he sighs and rubs his eyes. When Harry simply scoops him up into a hug, he goes gratefully. Harry's hugs are nothing short of magical.

 

"I just. There are some things you guys still don't know yet, and - I'm kind of afraid if I tell you guys now, you'll leave?"

 

Zayn can feel Harry sigh tickle his neck. Zayn feels a lot like he has disappointed his grandma or kicked a puppy.

 

"I don't know if I'm angry or sad that you think we'll just up and leave. We all have secrets, yeah? I know the five us are scarily co-dependent already and have literally no sense of privacy but still. We know that you won't just tell us everything within a month. We won't - won't leave you. Unless if you say you've murdered someone before. Even then I think Louis might actually adopt you or something equally _Louis_ ," Harry replies dryly. Zayn chuckles shakily and has the strangest urge to wipe at his eyes.

 

"I'm pretty sure he'll actually ditch you guys to chase after me if that's the case," Zayn teases, pulling away from the hug.

 

Harry is peering back at him seriously though, despite the remnants of a laugh still etched on his lips.

 

"You do realise that Louis is sort of fuming downstairs right? Because you left Liam like that. Again. And Liam is of course freaking out and Louis is hence pissed. You and Liam are strangely insecure despite how much _steadier_ you are than...well, everyone else," Harry comments.

 

Zayn scowls at him because _of course_ , they are insecure. They both have never really had friends for the majority of their childhood and even now when they have friends - best friends - they still feel like no one understands them better than the other does and they _can't_ screw that up.

 

And okay. Maybe, he needs to tell Liam of his revelation - even if it's not to say that he thinks Liam's the one but because he shouldn't be hiding this from him anyway.

 

Harry must see some sort of change in his mindset on his face, because the curly-haired boy suddenly starts grinning and coos, "There you go! Now, come on. Let's go down before Liam actually starts crying and Louis comes up here wielding a kitchen knife."

 

Zayn laughs and follows Harry down the stairs because Louis doing that is actually a possibility.

 

The moment they enter the living room, Zayn's eyes naturally land on Liam who is looking at Zayn with unsure brown eyes. It makes Zayn want to hurry over and pull Liam into a hug that he will never end because none of this - Zayn's apprehension and paranoia - is Liam's fault.

 

"Well?" comes Louis' snarky voice. He looks to Louis whose usually bright eyes have gone cold and even as Zayn internally shudders at having those aimed at him, he is glad Liam has such a fiercely loyal friend.

 

"Liam...?" Zayn asks softly, fairly certain that Liam will understand his request.

 

Liam does. He exchanges a look with Louis before getting up and saying, “Your room?"

 

"Won't it hurt your knee?" Zayn gestures to his now bandaged knee.

 

"Nah, it's just a scrape," Liam says dismissively, waving his hand in a far too jerky manner to fool Zayn of his nonchalance. Besides, Zayn would like to disagree that _it's_ not _just a scrape_ considering that he felt it too.

 

But Zayn simply hums and beckons him to follow. They both steadfastly ignore the various looks they are getting from their friends - Louis looking positively sulky, Niall amused and Harry concerned.

 

Once Liam has managed to trek up the stairs, he quickly shuffles after Zayn and collapses on the chair nearest to the door. He smiles sheepishly and says, "Maybe it's a bit more than just a scrape."

 

"So umm," Zayn starts, going to sit on his bed after hovering around Liam for far too many seconds. "I. Shit."

 

"This is feels like that first day, huh?" Liam says, tone light even though his entire posture screams nervous.

 

"Sort of," Zayn agrees with a small huffing laugh, "I think. Okay. First, have you ever like felt any kind of pain that actually had no reason?"

 

And if at first Zayn thought Liam was uncomfortable, it's nothing compared to how stiff Liam now gets.

 

"Why - what do you mean?" Liam carefully asks.

 

"Like. Shit. I'm just gonna say it and fervently hope you don't hate me afterwards," Zayn says. He cuts of Liam's _I won't hat-_ with a wave of his hand. "I have had these weird pains since I was young and there was literally no cause for them. The first time was when I was two and it felt like what I now know as my kidney was being ripped apart. It was horrible and the doctors couldn't any reason for it and none of the meds worked. After that eventually stopped, other things happened randomly. Have been happening all this while and like. Like a few years ago, I sort of figured out - okay, no, I hypothesized that maybe it's like a connection, a link to someone? And well, I kind of think it's you?"

 

Zayn looks hopefully at Liam and fidgets with his fingers as waits for Liam's answer. When Liam doesn't say anything, only stares at Zayn blankly, he says, "For God's sake, Liam. Say something. This is difficult for me as it is."

 

That seems to startle Liam out of whatever funk he had fallen into and he whispers, "Fuck." That is probably the first time Zayn has heard him swear. "Fuck, it's been you all this time. Shit. Oh my god," Liam says with halting breaths. It's like a damn has been opened and he can't stop talking now.

 

"Shit," Liam repeats, "I can't believe it. All this time I've been cursing this because it's always been so troublesome. Because I couldn't _help_ whoever I had this connection with and it was just. So. _Frustrating_. And now I know it's you and this does not make sense. Because part of me never believed the idea I came up with that I might be feeling someone else's pain and now I know it is true and it's _you_. I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad one."

 

Liam is gasping as if he's run a marathon and Zayn can relate. He sees the panic shining in Liam's chocolate brown eyes that he had only just seen on himself twenty minutes ago. When Zayn starts to reach out to Liam, to hug him like Haz had hugged _him_ , Liam flinches and Zayn wants.

 

He wants to cry. And smash everything he can find.

 

Zayn halts and his arm remains outstretched. Liam eyes him warily and Zayn doesn't understand why.

 

"How long have you known?" Liam demands.

 

Zayn lets him hand drop and instead rubs a weary hand across his face. "Just now. When you came in with the scraped knee. Because just moments before you rang the bell I felt something at the exact same spot and when Louis pressed on your knee, I felt like he was jabbing _me_."

 

"So that's why you reacted that way," Liam mutters. "Jesus. It's all falling into place now. That time you cut yourself on the paper. _Jesus_ , I can't. Can't think right now. I need to. Need to leave."

 

Zayn doesn't stop Liam when he stands up and leaves his room without a backward glance, and Zayn doesn't let himself feel like he just lost a limb. Because Liam might come back and Liam's not a limb anyway. He's just another friend. Another person.

 

Or so Zayn tells himself.

 

xx

 

Zayn is lying on his bed, just staring out at the moon in the sky. It's clear out tonight and he's kind of glad the tree in front of his window block most of the light even if it's the _moonlight_. He is kind of glad that it's Friday, because he can't sleep and if he has to wake up feeling like a zombie who died thrice-over then he'd rather it not be a school day.

 

Ever since the afternoon after Liam went off, and Zayn had come downstairs to find only Harry and Niall waiting for him, he has been barely restraining himself from texting Liam or even Louis. He had sent the other two off without telling them what had happened because Liam was bound to tell Louis and Louis would never keep this from his boyfriends so it all seemed a redundant for Zayn to explain it as well.

 

Ever since he's been lying here, gazing out of the window in a way Grimmy would call pretentious in its poetic beauty and the thought of his eccentric teacher makes Zayn smile.

 

His face feels cracked, facial muscles having gone stiff from not using the whole day.

 

Sometime later, two am rolls around and Zayn has stopped keeping track of the time so he's not sure if it really is two am. He contemplates calling Grimmy, but decides against because as much as his teacher is very hip and cool, he probably likes sleep even more than Zayn does and Zayn doesn't need an F for his Lit. He is thumbing at his phone, wondering if it would be wise to call Harry when he looks up at a sudden noise outside and comes face to face with Liam's face.

 

Zayn may possibly scream in a non-manly way and topple out of his bed in his haste to get away because for a second it seemed Liam didn't have a body. When he peeks up, he sees Liam's body as the younger boy climbs through his window.

 

"I don't remember inviting you." Zayn means it to sound mean and snarky (because after he had gotten over the sadness, he had been _angry_ at Liam for just leaving) but it comes out squeaky and Zayn blushes.

 

"Yeah. Well. Should I climb back out?" Liam asks, looking at him nervously, as though he thinks Zayn might really take him up on his offer.

 

Zayn scoffs and scoots back up onto his bed. "Well, don't just stand there. Get in," Zayn says, pulling up a corner of his quilt, but then, "Or not. You can, umm, sit on the chair again if you're uncomfortable. With me."

 

Zayn closes his eyes momentarily and inhales deeply to calm his nerves. When he opens them, he sees Liam toeing his shoes off and sliding into the bed beside him.

 

It's funny how they have done this - laying down beside each other and snuggling together - a few times before already but this time it feels so different. So wrought with tension and sticky feelings. There's a gap between them under the quilt and Zayn itches to close that but he doesn't. He simply waits for Liam to start.

 

"I'm sorry I freaked out," Liam whispers. He is staring straight up at the ceiling and Zayn thinks he can hear a quiver in his voice. "I'm sorry. I said I won't leave and yet, I did. I just. It was overwhelming."

 

"It's alright. I understand. I'm kind of pissed that you ran away but I understand. Sort of. I mean, I ran up too when I realised. Just not _away_ ," Zayn replies just as softly.

 

"I. I'm actually," Liam pauses, and then turns so that he's facing Zayn. "'M actually glad it's you. Now that I've calmed down that is, and gotten over the fact that you made me have hangovers which I absolutely detest," Liam says cheekily and it makes Zayn snicker.

 

"Well, I have had to endure your kidney thing when I was a kid, Liam. So I think it more than makes up for it."

 

"Yeah, but I could hardly control that. You could control your alcoholism and weedism," Liam retorts.

 

"You're spending too much time with Louis," Zayn says dryly, arching an eyebrow. Liam flushes.

 

They are quiet for a while. Liam looking at Zayn and Zayn feeling Liam's gaze on him.

 

"Sometimes I used to think it's because I gave you so much pain - like bruised ribs - that you would purposely get yourself a hangover to get back at me," Liam comments, reaching forward to pick at a stray thread on Zayn's t-shirt.

 

Zayn turns around then - turns to face Liam and their faces are so impossibly close.

 

"Not really. I didn't. Not most of the time at least," Zayn grins innocently and this time, it's Liam who laughs. "You are so clumsy though. Like the number of times I've been hit on the head or felt like I walked into a door, it's stupid. You're dumb," Zayn mumbles, becoming incoherent as he stares into Liam's brown eyes that are shining so brightly now.

 

"Well, you're no better," is all Liam says and pouts and _fuck_. Before he realises what he is doing, Zayn darts forward and presses his lips against Liam's.

 

Zayn feels Liam freeze and he quickly shoves himself back. He squeezes himself all the way back into the wall and watches Liam with wide eyes.

 

He hadn't quite meant to do that. Well, he obviously wanted to - still does - but he didn't want to just spring it on Liam just like that. Liam looks like he has gone into shock and if Zayn wasn't afraid of Liam pushing him away, he would poke at him to see if he's still alive.

 

"Uh, shit - " Zayn stutters, "I-I'm sorry, Li."

 

Liam jerks at hearing his nickname and he focuses his eyes on Zayn - still looking shocked, just less broken.

 

"Why would you do that?" Liam whispers, fingers coming to trace his own lips in wonder. "Why?"

 

"I'm sorry. Fuck. I didn't mean to - "

 

"So what, you just randomly go around kissing people you don't mean to?" Liam demands.

 

"No. No, I meant I didn't mean to kiss you _now_ when we just found out that connection shit and have so much to discuss," Zayn explains.

 

"So you want to kiss me at some other time?" Liam asks, a smile starting to tug at his lips.

 

"Yeah," Zayn says, staring at Liam's lips too intently to think twice about what he's saying, "Wanna kiss you all the time."

 

"Yeah? Me too," Liam says, giggling quietly as if it's a huge confession which - it _is_ to Zayn. "But. But we need to talk about this though. As in. The whole pain telepathy."

 

"Yeah, we do. Pain telepathy. That sounds cooler than it actually is," Zayn replies, finally shuffling close into Liam's space again. Liam automatically throws an arm over Zayn's waist and Zayn counts that as a victory.

 

"You know something that doesn't make sense," Zayn murmurs, "If you can't drink then why did it feel like you were hungover that weekend before I started school?"

 

Liam looks confused for a second before realisation dawn and he starts laughing. "Oh, god. You won't actually believe. I can drink, just not, like, can't go overboard with it. And Louis somehow found that out and convinced me that to get back at you for giving me all those headaches, I should give you one too. Somehow we both didn't realise that I would be suffering too. God it was so stupid!"

 

Zayn laughs, thinking about how surreal this is. Not just having this weird power - ability? - but to find that person and for it to be _Liam_.

 

"I'm glad it's you too," Zayn says, replying to a previous comment. "Still freaked out, but glad it isn't someone else. This feels like it's meant, you know?"

 

"Wow, is the great Zayn Malik actually being sappy? This is a momentous occasion," Liam quips and laughs when Zayn swats at his face half-heartedly.

 

"This whole thing is corny as fuck," Zayn grumbles.

 

"Kind of. It is, isn't it? Have you ever thought, like, why you were like this? Or what was the purpose of this?" Liam asks, face looking contemplative.

 

"Doniyah says it's because that person - _you_ are my soulmate," Zayn offers, and then curses himself because _what the fuck_. He doesn't even believe it himself, _why_ is he telling that to Liam. But -

 

"I think. I think I like that," Liam admits softly and _oh_. Suddenly, all Zayn can think about is _yes_ , he totally believes this whole soul mate idea too.

 

He reaches out a hand to trace his fingers over Liam's face and Liam lets him. Liam's eyes slip shut and he turns into Zayn's touch. Zayn doesn't know if anything could ever get better than this.

 

"I have never. Never loved anyone before. But you have, yeah?" Zayn asks. "Felt you being heartbroken and I just wanted to meet you only if it is to shake some sense into you to stop moping."

 

"Yeah I was afraid back then that I would be forcing you to feel that way alongside me and I didn't want you to," Liam replies apologetically, "I really, really wished then that the other person wouldn't feel it because I would never wish that on anyone."

 

"What happened?" Zayn asks, fingers stilling on Liam's neck.

 

"There was this. This older girl. Student back then. Danielle," Liam tells him, and Zayn feels a little twinge in his chest that he knows is a spillover from Liam. He starts stroking Liam's neck again and moves up to his face. Liam shoots a grateful smile at him and continues, "Don't know why she liked me. She's in her first year uni now and I don't know why she even noticed me back then. It feels like it's been years but it hasn't really. Just last year.

 

"We were good. Great even. But after her As, when she got accepted into a uni, she broke up with me. It was. You know how it was. Said, she didn't want to tie either of us down, that we're still young. That we should explore our options. And all the time I wanted to tell her I didn't want any of all those, but me being me, I just let her have her way. Not like I could actually stop her, right?" Liam shakes his head then, and captures Zayn's hand in his own. He brings their hands to his chest and just rests them there.

 

"How did you get over it?" Zayn asks.

 

"Believe it or not, I just immersed myself into work to forget her and it worked. People say we shouldn't ignore the problem or whatever, but it actually worked to just channel all my energy and concentration into council and homework."

 

"It's funny how, because I hated feeling heartbroken, I decided to never fall in love. Decided I could just lock that part of me away. And like you're the one who convinced me of that, and now you're the one who makes me - " Zayn cuts off, unsure if he's saying too much, revealing too much too fast.

 

"I make you what?" Liam probes.

 

"Make me want to take that chance," Zayn finishes softly. "Of not locking anything away at all."

 

They don't break the gaze they hold so steadily between them; they don't make any move to widen the space between them. They don’t, because it doesn't feel uncomfortable, it doesn't feel cloying like Zayn always found feelings to be. Instead when Liam moves forward, Zayn lets him - lets him come impossibly close.

 

And then they are kissing. It's nothing like the first. None of the shock is there is there for one - only a quiet sense of entitlement and rightness with a hint of uproarious passion kept in check.

 

It's making Zayn dizzy and he's glad he's lying down because he doesn't think his legs would have supported him in any way. Zayn hand slides up from Liam's check to curl around his shoulders while Liam wraps his arm around Zayn and Zayn's almost atop of Liam. He's sure Liam can feel his thundering heartbeat.

 

They break away and Zayn looks down at Liam. Their eyes are shining bright, brighter than the moon outside. Brighter than any sun ever could and Zayn feels like there's a star bursting inside him (but he hopes that's not the case or else he'll turn into a black hole which really isn't very ideal). They don't have to say anything, doesn't need to qualify what they just did with any words, doesn't need to put a label on what their friendship just turned into. Zayn lays his head on Liam's warm chest and Liam cards his fingers through Zayn's hair in soothing motions.

 

It's probably fifteen minutes later, or maybe an hour - they don't know - Liam says, "I think maybe we have this connection because we were meant to help stop the other's pain. Maybe it's like a plea for help. Because neither of us actually likes asking for it."

 

Zayn hums because that. That actually makes sense.

 

"I wish I had known you all along, would have known when you were getting beaten up. Would have turned up there to save you," Zayn murmurs into Liam's shirt.

 

"Me too. Sometimes I could feel your cracked ribs, I knew what was happening to you. I was glad when your bullying stopped. It stopped earlier than mine did. Was glad even if I didn't know you then," Liam says, rubbing a hand up and down Zayn's back, offering comfort silently.

 

"Never understood why I couldn't feel your happiness though. Or pleasure - that's the opposite of pain, isn't it?" Zayn asks, lifting his head to look at Liam.

 

Liam shrugs. "Dunno. Probably because then we didn't need each other."

 

Zayn would like to disagree. He has been increasingly needing Liam around, and even back then he didn't know Liam, there was always something that he had been missing - a spot Liam fills up now (has right from the moment they met).

 

"Dunno about that, mate. If you were happy not because of me now, I would be very put off," Zayn confesses, well-aware he sounds like a pre-pubescent girl with best-friend jealousy issues.

 

Liam laughs and ruffles Zayn's hair, ignoring the scowl that Zayn directs at him.

 

"I would probably too. I think. That's so embarrassing though," Liam says.

 

"Tell me about it," Zayn snorts. "But umm, maybe. Maybe, we could try and figure out how to feel each other's happiness too? I don't even know how to begin doing that but - "

 

"But we could try," Liam finishes Zayn's sentence, nodding in agreement. "This is the stuff of TV and fantasy story books. It's still a little difficult to wrap my head around it now that it has been confirmed."

 

"Yeah," Zayn agrees. "But it's alright. I mean, we've got all the time. We can slowly figure it out."

 

"Yeah, yeah, I would like that," Liam whispers, and Zayn can hear the _if that means we'll be together for longer_ Liam leaves unsaid.

 

xx

 

The next morning when Zayn wakes up with his nose buried in Liam's neck and Liam's head resting on top of his, their limbs entwined tightly, Zayn sighs contentedly and burrows back into Liam to sleep a little while longer.

 

xx

 

"So have you guys made any headway with the whole sharing happiness thing?" Harry asks them one afternoon in the cafeteria as they have their lunch. It's Wednesday and it's the only day all five of them have their lunch break at the same time.

 

"Why don't we have this telepathyyyy," Louis whines and wiggles like a child. "We deserve it more. Imagine, we can totally just make each other horn - "

 

"Okay, that's it, Louis," Liam cuts off, "You have reached your quota for the day for talking about stupid things."

 

"Hey!" Louis exclaims, reaching over to pinch Liam's nipple, which Liam deftly block. "You made that stupid rule. No one's telling me to shut up."

 

"Shut up," the other four immediately chorus back.

 

Louis huffs and crosses his arms.

 

"Anyway, no we haven't Haz," Zayn says. "It's. I don't know. I think it's because we don't even know where to start?"

 

"Well, you guys could do something that will make you feel like intense happiness or pleasure or whatever the fuck and see if that works?" Niall suggests.

 

"Sex!" Louis pipes up and ignores everyone's exasperated looks. "No, seriously. I mean like sex with _each other_ because you're obviously together if the past few weeks are anything to go by - "

 

"Louis," Harry's quiet voice shuts Louis up, and he nudges the older boy to look at Liam and Zayn.

 

They are staring intently each other, possibly having a conversation with their only their eyes. A myriad of expressions and emotions are flicking across their faces which even Louis feels like an intruder for watching.

 

"Liam...?" Zayn asks softly.

 

"Yeah," Liam answers and they both simultaneously stand up. Liam turns to the other three and says, "We're gonna go. Talk. Yeah? Catch up with you guys later."

 

The two boys turn away and as they walk off, Zayn slips a hand into Liam's and Liam smiles down at him.

 

"Where are we going?" Liam asks.

 

"Stadium steps?"

 

"Okay."

 

They walk through the hallway quietly, ignoring the looks their schoolmates give them when they see their clasped hands. It's not that this is the first time (first time was two weeks ago when Zayn had kissed Liam for the first time since that night) that they are holding hand, but even after two weeks of Liam walking Zayn to his art class and Zayn waiting for Liam's football practices to finish, people _still_ watch them. Sometimes it's with fascination, sometimes with disgust. Either way, it doesn't matter. Not when they could so easily just focus on each other instead.

 

Just as they are about to step out of the school building, Grimmy waylays them.

 

"Have you seen that twinky little student of mine?" Grimmy asks, he is heaving and he is completely drenched. "That little twat booby trapped the door into pour a bucket of water on me if I entered the room. And all just because I said his essay was too pedestrian."

 

"Oh my god, Mr Grimshaw," Liam rushes to apologize, "I am so sorry. I'll talk to Louis about not doing such stuff. I am so, so sorry."

 

Liam looks like he is about thirty seconds away from having an apoplectic fit while Zayn is simply laughing away. He is doubled over and clutching his stomach and he laughs even harder when Grimmy flicks his ear and threatens to give him an F for all of his subsequent assignments.

 

Liam promises to talk to Louis again and drags Zayn off. A few seconds later, Liam bursts out laughing as well and by the time they have stopped, there are tears in their eyes and they are clutching at each other for support.

 

"Oh my god," Zayn gasps, "Did you see his _face_?"

 

"He looked like he couldn't decide if he wanted to cry or strangle Louis," Liam replies, rubbing at his eyes.

 

"Fuck, Louis is such a legend."

 

Liam hums in agreement and they continue walking till they reach the stadium steps. They climb up all the way to the top landing and lie down sideways, facing each other, and away from the direct glare of the sunlight.

 

"You okay?" Zayn asks.

 

"Yeah. You?" Liam asks back, reaching forward to hold Zayn's hand.

 

"Yeah. Louis also tends to talk too much though."

 

"Yup. Sometimes yeah. But - but we are together, right? I mean, unless I've been reading all the signs wro - "

 

"Liam. I'm _falling_ for you. I'm pretty sure that means we're together at least from where I stand," Zayn replies, hand tightening on Liam's.

 

Liam releases a breath and says, "Yeah? I think I'm falling for you too."

 

"Well, that's a relief," Zayn teases and laughs when Liam punches his shoulder. "And. And you know, I really don't care if we can only each other's pain or if we can somehow train ourselves into feeling more than just that. I actually don't. Because. It doesn't really matter, does it? _You_ make me happy and if you tell me once in a while that I make you happy too, that's more than enough for me."

 

"I wish I had your way with words. Wish I could tell you that you do make me happy. So happy. And I haven't felt like this, ever. Not even when Louis forced me into befriending him, not when Harry and Niall just simply made a place for me in their lives," Liam says, and pauses as if to collect his thoughts, "And if I can't tell you, I can show you? I'm good at showing, I think."

 

"You're great at everything," Zayn automatically replies, because to him, Liam really _is_. "And we don't have to worry about the sex or whatever. It'll happen when it will. We'll just make out in the bathrooms."

 

Zayn winks at Liam, who has gone all red again.

 

"You're starting to sound like Louis," Liam mumbles, fighting the urge to giggle. "And I don't understand why he is so invested in us having sex though."

 

"Not in us. Just _you_ having sex."

 

"You don't mind though...right? Like that I haven't done it before?" Liam asks, uncertainty creeping into his voice.

 

"No! Oh god, I'm kind of glad actually?" Zayn laughs in a self-deprecating manner because he sounds so much like a cliché.

  
Liam hums happily and shuffles forward till he can touch his lips to Zayn's. And they remain that way. Not kissing just touching in the most intimate way possible, relaying all of their feelings in the best way possible.

**Author's Note:**

> yayyy so you made it! woots
> 
> hope you guys liked it and aren't like cursing me for wasting your time or something.
> 
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> [tumblr~](http://www.zouislights.tumblr.com/)


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